Thanks to our post-pandemic, 21st-century world, I can work from just about anywhere, because like all of you, I carry my phone, tablet and laptop everywhere. I can’t get access to a conference room in my own office in downtown Chicago without scanning my phone. I can’t log into my computer without entering a text short code. While it’s great for security, it complicates almost everything else related to practicing as a matrimonial attorney in Chicago.
Stretching Already Thinning Boundaries
In March 2020 when everything went on lockdown, our entire firm quickly transitioned to a “virtual firm” in the matter of a weekend, thanks to a brilliant technology director who had us up and running by Monday morning. At that time, all of my past, current and prospective clients needed to know that we were here for them and more accessible than ever. I encouraged them to call my cell phone and text me. I told them not to worry and that we would take the best care of them even though we were not in the office.
My colleagues at Berger Schatz and I, along with the rest of the world, were already trending toward a complete breakdown in communications boundaries even before then. Cell phones were sitting on conference room tables at our firm (turned down, but still inspected every two minutes) so we could see if something important came in that was worth interrupting a meeting for. That trend was about to get more extreme, as we became even more available all hours of the day, every day of the week. Text messages and cell phone calls started coming in rapid-fire, essentially providing a free license for anyone with our mobile numbers to crash a meeting or disrupt whatever was scheduled.
Since our mobile devices are now attached to us like appendages, they can, unfortunately, pull our focus away from the people we are currently helping, and in the end, we are not able to give either party the full attention they deserve. For example, a client will receive a forwarded letter or email from their spouse’s lawyer with admittedly self-serving and exaggerated bluster in it, and their lawyers’ cell phones start ringing while texts start simultaneously appearing. The emotional reaction, while understandably upsetting and anxiety-provoking, does not lead to a productive dialog with the lawyer on the receiving end. It isn’t good for any of us, the client or the lawyer, as it is sensory overload and distracting, and I have yet to have a productive and intensive communication with anyone via text message.
Legal advice, at least not good legal advice, should never be given in real-time via a text message with stream-of-consciousness, anxiety-provoking words appearing in choppy sentences on a cell phone, either via incoherent dictation or shorthand.
Why Instant Responses Shouldn’t Come at the Expense of Well-Thought-Out Legal Advice
The expectation for instant responses has worsened post-Covid. All of us have less patience, shorter attention spans and generally expect responses as soon as a message is marked as “delivered.” Those expectations are further exacerbated because our clients are paying us for our thoughts and communication skills. They rightfully look to us to thoughtfully care for them, answer their questions, solve their problems and be zealous and strategic advocates. Yet, no one benefits from immediate responses that lack context, thought or strategy. Examples of stream of consciousness messages I get (which, to be clear, I don’t blame anyone for sending, as it is a behavior I encouraged and condoned for a long time), include:
- “Is my spouse really going to get my kids half the time? That’s what someone told me.”
- “Is my business interest really at risk here?”
- “Can my spouse really put those allegations in a pleading?”
Not only do my colleagues and I see messages like this at all times of the day and night, but we also live in a world now where if three little dots don’t appear demonstrating an immediate response is in process, there is an assumption that someone is being ignored or disregarded.
The question I’ve been grappling with is whether we are truly helping people by engaging in these types of dialogs. I’ve concluded we are not — not even a little bit — and I’ve also found that our clients agree when we explain why these types of chats hurt them. There is a fine line between reassuring clients and calming their nerves versus answering complicated questions in rapid-fire text exchanges. Regardless of our profession, it is humanly impossible to do many things well when performing multiple tasks that require intense thought or organization. In those instances, clients do not receive good advice, and we spontaneously combust as lawyers and humans.
A thoughtful person who is a good listener and thinker cannot be texting answers to a client while talking to another lawyer on the phone and keeping a close eye on incoming emails. It’s easier to juggle knives on a tightrope over a fire pit; frankly, it feels like the same thing, only the juggler over the firepit is a lot more focused than we are in those typical scenarios when we attempt to respond to everyone immediately. The reality is something completely different; our clients deserve our best responses, all the time, not our fastest responses. They deserve and expect us to be present, laser-focused and articulate. While real emergencies have to be dealt with at times, often, that is not the case.
My “Jerry Maguire” Moment
Three years ago, I set out to do better at regulating the pacing of my responses to clients by setting up some clear boundaries and parameters, which has worked out incredibly well. There is no more immediate text messaging unless a true emergency exists or there is a last-minute scheduling problem. Phone calls are directed to the firm’s main number and handled by the brilliant and competent team members at our firm who make us the best at what we do.
In order to explain my rationale behind this switch, I sat down early one morning and started writing my “Jerry Maguire” Mission Statement on why I needed to make some changes to do better for all of my clients. I wrote a heartfelt and passionate letter to everyone about our new protocol with an explanation that we need to communicate differently if we are going to achieve an optimal result. I was concerned some clients would be offended and feel unimportant or marginalized. In the movie, Jerry Maguire wrote a memo that cost him all of his clients except for one who believed in him, which worked out in the end.
My letter, which I’m happy to share with anyone who wants to reach out to me directly, was arguably the most important action I’ve taken in my twenty-year career. Not only were my incredible clients receptive, but they all — and I mean all — thoughtfully understood the message was accurate and was intended to make their representation better, which benefits all of them. I refresh the letter occasionally and send it out again so my clients and I remain on the same page and I can focus on providing them with the best representation.
We operate in a professional environment where our clients hang on to our every word and thought and trust us with their personal and financial lives. We owe it to them to ensure we deliver our best and show up as the best version of ourselves. Establishing boundaries and rules in our client-attorney relationships should never be overlooked, which is why it’s a good thing when clients do not immediately hear back from attorneys on every occasion.